110 - From Baggy Clothes to Confidently Rocking a Bathing Suit - Debby's Story

In this episode we hear from Debby, who shares her story of what befriending her body has made available for her.

Prior to beginning 1:1 coaching, Debby felt stuck and unfulfilled in life, and truly believed that her body was the problem.  She thought that losing weight would allow her to find love, get her dream job, wear the clothes she wanted, travel - but felt hopeless because even after  substantial weight loss, she still felt the same way.

She struggled with  emotional eating, bingeing and hid her body behind baggy clothes.

Through coaching, Debby realized that it wasn’t her body that needed to change, but rather how she thought about herself as a person.

As she began to believe in her inherent worthiness, and started treating herself with the kindness and respect she deserved, Debby noticed that her eating behaviour became more nourishing, she moved her body more consistently and she started wearing clothing that she felt comfortable in, including wearing a bathing suit at the beach without a cover up, for the first time in her adult life!

Not only that, but because of her new found self-confidence Debby no longer lets her body hold her back.  She has created the life of her dreams and feels satisfied and content, knowing that she is worthy of having all that she desires.

If you’re ready for results like this, 1:1 coaching is the way.  Reach out and book your consultation today to talk about what’s possible for you!

About the Host

Kim Hagle (she/her)  is Certified Personal Trainer, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Body Image Coach and founder of Radiant Vitality Wellness. 

Through mindset and movement coaching she helps women heal their relationship with food and exercise while disconnecting their worth from their weight, so they can feel healthy, happy and confident in the body they have.  

New Here?  Download our free guide: 5 Ways to Feel Healthy, Happy and Confident - without obsessing over the scale.  

Want to feel good in your body without focusing on weight?  Register for our 5 day mini training course. For just $27, you'll receive one short video and worksheet each day for 5 days that will help get started with the non-diet approach and  feeling better in and about your body.

Ready to take the next step?  Book a free consultation call to discuss how coaching can help you reach your goals.

Let’s stay in touch! Kim is on Instagram and Facebook @radiantvitalitywellness.  

Disclaimer.  The information contained in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.  Always consult a health care professional about your unique needs.

Transcript

0:47

Hello, and welcome back to the power and motion podcast. I have a really special episode for you today where I'm interviewing a long time client. Debbie, who has been participating in one-on-one coaching? And I know you're going to really enjoy hearing from her. She is just a delight and she has a really powerful story to share about what's possible when you do the work of moving into a kind and respectful relationship with your body. So you're going to hear inside how befriending her body has helped Debbie improve her relationship with food where she. No longer binges or struggles with emotional eating or fears, food how it's changed her relationship with movement. How her body image has been just revolutionized. She's got a really powerful story about the confidence that she now has in her body. That she was able to achieve without any body changes whatsoever. But the really cool thing in the story is what doing this work opens up in your bigger life. And Debbie shares how her whole life from career to even where she lives. How she spends her time. Has changed as a result of doing this work and how she's experiencing things in life that she never dreamed possible. So it's a very juicy episode. I'm sure you'll resonate with Debbie's experience and be very inspired by the stories that she's going to share. And of course with that in mind, if you're ready yourself to do this work, to heal your relationship with your body, then please book a consultation with me so that you can get these kinds of results yourself. You can book that consultation by visiting my website, www.radiantvitality.ca/coaching. I get a time booked and we'll have a chat about your dreams and your goals and how coaching one-on-one can fast track you to get there. All right. Without any further ado, let's jump into this. Amazing and powerful interview with Debbie.

Kim: 3:06

well, Debbie, it is such an honor to welcome you to the Power In Motion podcast. Thank you so much for being here

Debby: 3:12

today. Thank you. I'm, I'm pretty excited. I'm excited to finally be here and at this part of my journey where I can actually share.

Kim: 3:22

I am excited too, and I know you have a really powerful story to share. Uh, there's lots and lots that we can talk about, so I'm excited to see where this conversation goes. So why don't you get us started by telling us just a little bit about yourself, who you are, and your life, and, uh, how we got

Debby: 3:40

to know each other. Okay. So, um, I am in my 54th year. I just turned, uh, 54 this year. Um, I am one of three kids, so I have an older brother and a younger sister and very close with my family. Spend a lot of time, um, with friends and family and, you know, my brother and sister are two of my best friends, which is really nice and I'm learning kind of unusual in this day and age, but we do a lot of stuff together. Um, I worked for the same company for 20 years and my job came to an end, just perfect timing, just as the pandemic started. So it was, um, it was a, a really big blow. And then the pandemic came. Uh, my brother and his partner, my sister, my niece all ended up moving in with me. So even that was a bit of a struggle. So, I was having like a, you know, just some interesting times and challenging times and, um, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life next. And that's how I met you was, um, through an ad that I had seen and we kind of went from there. So that was where we kind of came about was during this pandemic and all of these changes in my life, I was just trying to find ways to better my life and kind of improve, you know, my, my mental health state and try and decide where I was gonna go. You know, I was a bit of a hot mess at the time, so it was, you know, I, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I grew up. To go and you know what I wanted to be. So, um, yeah, my life has changed dramatically in the last two years. Mm-hmm.

Kim: 5:44

It definitely has. And I think it's interesting that you're identifying what sounds like an identity crisis at the time that we met, right? Yes. I recall when we, when I first asked you about your struggles when we first met, it was about your body and your weight and your health, which often, that's the thing that comes forward. First is we think that the problem is what we see in the mirror or the number on the scale, and what you've learned now is it's a deeper issue, but can you speak to, do you recall. Like that feeling at when we first met. Yeah. That, you know, that the feeling that if I get my body figured out that all these other things will fall into place too.

Debby: 6:28

Yeah. And I, and I truly believe that, you know what? I just, I kept thinking, oh, if only, if only I could lose weight, right? If I could, if only I could lose weight, I would be happier. And if I could lose weight, I would find my dream job. If I could lose weight. I'd find, you know, my forever partner. If, um, I could lose weight, I would just feel better about myself. And I had a very negative body image. And along with that, you know, just almost self-deprecating thoughts about the way that I looked and, and, and how I felt about myself. And yeah, it, it wasn't a very, um, it wasn't a pleasant outlook towards. My body, you know, I myself and my own, you know, person I liked, but my, my self-worth and my connection to my body was not good. Yeah. Yeah.

Kim: 7:30

And how did you see that playing out in your day-to-day life? Like, how did these thoughts about yourself affect you on a daily basis? You know,

Debby: 7:41

there were days where I could just kind of, you know, forget about it. Mm-hmm. By not looking in the mirror, right? Mm-hmm. Um, not really paying attention to the clothes that I was putting on, or, you know, making sure that I wore really, really, you know, baggy clothes so that I didn't show the shape of my body and, and what it looked like. Um, But it real, like it was just there, right. There was just like a a, a heavy anchor weighing on me on a daily basis that I didn't even realize that I wasn't aware of how, how much interaction I had with that, with those thoughts, even though I didn't think I was thinking them at the time. Mm-hmm. They were just always there. Right.

Kim: 8:30

Yeah, it's so interesting, it was so subconscious that you weren't even aware of how much these thoughts about your body and about your weight were really influencing your whole life. Yeah, no. Yeah. And can you tell us a little bit about what your relationship with food looked like around that time

Debby: 8:47

too? Oh my goodness. It was just, it was terrible. Um, there was so much, I had a lot of, I'm trying to think of how to describe it. Um, Almost rebellious nature, right? Against food. And I just, it was so hard for me to lose weight that, you know, a lot of the times I didn't even care, right? I didn't even care what I ate because even if I ate fruits and vegetables, it just seemed so hard and I was really, One of those stop start people, right? I'm gonna start a diet. And then it was too hard. And within three days I didn't lose 10 pounds, so forget it, right? Like it was just, I wasn't seeing instantaneous results and I wasn't seeing quick results. And so my relationship with food was just kind of foul, right? Like, it was just almost like, um, not punishment, but. I just didn't care what I ate because it didn't seem to matter and I seemed to, you know, focus on all of the comfort foods and, you know, the cakes and cookies and I could live on that, you know, for days and take out holy jeepers. You know, my skip the dishes. No kidding. I was between seven and$800 a month. So really didn't care what I ate or what that food was doing to my body because I even felt it right. Like, eating that way just made my body feel gross. Mm-hmm. And it, and I didn't care. Right. I just, I just kept eating that way because I didn't. I didn't feel like there was any way out.

Kim: 10:36

Right? Yeah. Like you didn't see the point of eating in a different way because it wasn't resulting in weight loss. And weight loss was the measure of success that you based everything on. So if the way that your eating wasn't achieving that goal, then why? What was the point? Right. So I know that when we met, achieving weight loss was still the ultimate goal that you had in mind. Right. And I know we had a long conversation when we first met about like, if I do all of this work, will I lose weight? Because once I lose weight, yes, I'll find my dream, man. I'll find my dream job, I'll be happy, and my body, like my whole life will come together. And I know that I told you that that was not something I could promise. But I would help you to think about yourself and about your body and about food in a different way, and, and to look at all of these circumstances in a different way, and to get to a place where you knew that you could achieve those things even without weight loss. And you didn't believe me No. At all.

Debby: 11:40

Oh, not at all. And yet you decided to do the work. Yes, I did do that. So what, what was going through your brain at that time? You know, one of the things that, um, that I, that I remember, so one of the things that I really have struggled with or, you know, it, I almost wanna, you know, cross my fingers and say, used to struggle with because it really is something that's not even. I, in my purview at the, like right now is binge eating right? And that was like a big thing for me. I could go two or three days honestly with barely eating anything, but then sit down and eat a lot of of food or you know, an entire package of Oreos. And I remember talking to you. And saying that, yes, like Oreos are like a huge thing for me. And you saying to me, you know, if you put the work in and if we do this together and, and you follow the program, you'll be able to have Oreo cookies in your, you know, cupboard and not eat all of them. And I was like, yeah, yes. Never gonna. Right. Um, and I legitimately can now have. Cookies, cakes, whatever. Uh, my sister brought Butter Tarts into the house, I don't know, five days ago. And I think two days ago I ended up eating half of one, and we threw the others out because they had kind of expired and like, you know, who is this person? How does you, so my outlook on food and, and how I see food now is, Completely different than, than what it was back then. Um, even, you know, even over, over the last two years, I do still have a goal of, and I guess I don't even look at it right now, as wanting to lose weight. I want my body, um, to serve me better, right. And. That just means that I need to be in a bit of a healthier state because being this heavy is hard for me to carry around. Um, and you know, I, so I'm, I'm just walking, right, because to me, I just, I wanna be able to get up and down off the floor and play with my nieces and hopefully more nieces and nephews coming and, you know, friends, babies and kids. I wanna just be able to walk up and down the stairs so I'm not necessarily focused on the weight loss as much as I am. Being able to move in a way that I want to be able to move my body. That's where I'm trying to, to concentrate. Yeah, yeah.

Kim: 14:21

To improve the functioning of your body so that you can do the things that matter in life

Debby: 14:25

to you. Yes. And and when I think about that, so, you know, from four years ago I have lost 110 pounds and, and that is substantial. And it was one of those things where, I guess I can kind of correlate it to a lot of people think if I just had more money, right? Mm-hmm. If I had more money, I could do this. If I just had more money, I could do that. And my thought was, well, if I just lost weight, everything would be so perfect. Well, I did lose 110 pounds and none of those things that I really wanted came to fruition. And I realized it's not just the weight, right? There's, there's so many other things I need to do because I did lose a whole shit ton of weight and now I, yeah, it didn't give me your problems still

Kim: 15:17

follow you, right? Like it's not the magic ticket that diet culture sells us that it is

Debby: 15:23

exactly right. And that's what I truly believed, right? I believed, every one of those ads, I believed every one of those diets. I believed everything that my life would be perfect if I just lost weight and that that wasn't the case. I still wasn't where I wanted to be. Yeah.

Kim: 15:41

Yeah. And then what diet culture tries to convince you is like, you just need to lose more. Like if you just Yes. Here or there or maybe build more muscle or get fitter or whatever, like that's when, you know, the messaging just starts to change and tweak a little bit. Like, but it's always related to get your body fixed. Yes. And the rest of your life will improve. Yes. And you know, and I think deep down you realize like, that just wasn't

Debby: 16:07

true. No, that's not that. Exactly. That's where I was at for sure.

Kim: 16:13

So when did you realize like, this isn't about the weight and what was it about,

Debby: 16:20

you know, it seemed to be such a slow process and I would see, you know, little improvements just all of a sudden. You know, we would, we would work on things and then all of a sudden I would realize, wow, I'm, I'm thinking differently this way, or I'm eating differently this way and I, I can't, I can't pinpoint, you know, a specific time. I mean, there are a couple of things that did happen on a vacation that I had recently in May, um, that I, I do wanna touch base on because those like big aha moments for me. But as far as going. You know, going through and figuring out and finding out, you know, when this started to happen, like it was almost there were. I had to commit to not looking for huge results immediately. I'm a results oriented person. I am a producer, not like TV producer. I just mean like I like to stuff done. I like to get things done. And so I really had to focus on not focusing on the end result. Yes, I had to really be in the moment. And processing things and working on things, honestly, in the moment, because otherwise I wasn't gonna get anywhere. Right. So there were, you know, there were little, there were little results, you know, I. Throughout the process every few weeks, like consistently. And it was me and you reminding me of, oh, like, but Debbie, that's a shift. But Debbie, that is different from before. And all of these little shifts and results ended up being a big thing over time. Yeah. And

Kim: 18:19

that's how it works, right? And so, You learned, it sounds like that the issue, the thing that needed to change wasn't your body. No. It was the way that you were thinking about yourself. And so as you started to think differently about yourself, you noticed that you were engaging with life a little bit differently, making different choices, and things were happening in a different way.

Debby: 18:43

Yes. So

Kim: 18:44

What was the belief that you held about yourself in the past that needed to change and what have you started to believe about yourself?

Debby: 18:53

So I would say my biggest, um, obstacle was my own self-worth and I, and I think I really, I, I know I really struggled with that when my job ended, because I was so connected to my job, it was almost like my job was me. Mm-hmm. That ended, that was even difficult for me because now I didn't know what to do, what to be what, what was I, who am I? And a lot of that, again, tied into my own worth as. Just as a human being, right? And, and what was I, what was I giving out in the world and what was I worthy of? And that was my, that was my biggest obstacle, was believing that I was inherently worthy. And I realized, That's been a struggle since, you know, since a very young age. Right. Just believing in myself and believing that I was, you know, worth it. Yeah.

Kim: 20:04

And thanks for sharing that. And you're so not alone. Like that's it's a pretty universal struggle, I think for, for humans. Women especially like, and we're taught to believe that our worth needs to be earned. Yes, and and like, so it makes sense when you lost your job, right? If you're not producing and contributing to the world through your work, then that's a huge blow to your self-worth. Like, who am I now? Yeah, so you know, then it makes sense. We shift our focus to our body. Well, at least if I can get the ideal body, I will be worthy, right? We look to all these external things to validate

Debby: 20:35

our. Yes. So how did you begin

Kim: 20:39

to believe that you just are worthy inherently, no matter what you do or what you look like or what you have? How, tell me a little bit about how you

Debby: 20:48

started to believe that. So that was, that was one of the, um, I would say that's been the most difficult challenge for me through this process, because you're absolutely right when I lost my job, um, I didn't even know why it was existing, right? Mm-hmm. Like I don't even know what to do anymore, right? Without that, that was the, the biggest piece, right? And that really put me into like a downward spiral. And then I. Between that and, um, the pandemic, I, I went into a, a depression as well, and it was, it was very difficult. I was working with, you know, a therapist and working with you, and so I, I, I did all the right things right, that I needed to do, but it was, it was so hard and, you know, working with you and working through, you know, the struggles and just believing that. That I am worthy of. So many other things. It was definitely baby steps. Yeah. Like honest to goodness, baby baby steps. And there was no major, oh, I could just do this, and now all of a sudden I believe I'm worthy and my life is good. No, no, it was like, it was, you know, I don't wanna discourage people by saying it took a long time. It's not that it took a long time, it's that, you know, everybody's struggles are different and mine was, my struggle for me was, was very difficult at the time because the world was in a very different place. Mm-hmm. And, and it hit me hard for, you know, many other different reasons. So, I don't know, you know, if, if all of that had happened in a different time, Would it be, would I have been able to come out of that quicker? Maybe. But for me it really was just day by day baby steps, doing little things to get to the end result. And I don't even wanna say I'm at the end result with, you know, my worthiness and how I feel. I, I, I believe I'm still working on that, but I am 80%, you know. Across my journey. Yeah. Compared to what I was two years ago. Yeah.

23:08

And

Kim: 23:08

I think, you know, I don't think any of us ever fully arrive, right? Like there's always, I think as long as we're here on this earth, there's work to do. But being secure in, in knowing that you're worthy makes so much more available. And we're gonna talk about some of those things that has made available for you. Right. And, and there'll be times when that. It comes into question where you question your worth and where you doubt. But would you say it's easier to pull yourself outta that now because you've done this, this work that you are grounded in knowing that you're worthy. So when doubt comes up, you know how to bring yourself back.

Debby: 23:46

You know, I a thousand percent. Right. And even if so, even while you were talking, I was thinking, okay, yeah. You know, Old habits die hard, right? Mm-hmm. And that, and that is one of those things that really is true. And it, for me, I just find it so easy to just, you know, slip into those, you know, negative thoughts because they were there for so long. But the difference for me right now is, you know, in working with you, I learned everybody has 60,000 thoughts in a day, and it's up to me whether I place moral value. Keep those thoughts in my head or not. And even if for whatever reason, you know, I do have a negative thought that comes in or something that says, oh, well, I mean of course that's happening to you because everything bad happens to you. I honestly within seconds go, oh, well that was quite the thought, Boosh, right? And just like flick it away like a fly. I don't need to believe that today. No thank you. Yes. So that's

Kim: 24:49

a big difference because when I, I remember when I met you, if something came into your mind, it was true. Yes. If your brain told you that you were a piece of crap,

Debby: 25:01

you believed it a hundred percent. Where now

Kim: 25:04

it sounds like there's distance between that, you're like, oh, that's a, that's

Debby: 25:06

a silly thought. Bye-bye. Yeah, and I'm, I'm not, I'm not gonna give that a second thought today that does not, that does not need to be circling around in my brain today. Like, not, not gonna happen. And, you know, there are times where, you know, negative thoughts like that, we'll just keep coming in and coming in and coming in and, you know, it, it is a struggle for me to, you know, to continue to push them away. But it's, but it's easier. And I have the tools and I have the thoughts to say, oh my God, now you're just being a nag. But like, I'm not interested, right? Like, I'm not, I'm not interested in you taking up space in me today. And then other days, right, it'll just kind of sit there and lag. But again, I'm not putting the value against it. It, I'm, okay, fine. You wanna sit there? Sit there. But I'm not, I'm not giving you my time of day. Yeah.

Kim: 25:57

Yeah. And I think, you know, what I've observed too is you know when those negative thoughts are nagging at you mm-hmm. It's not because it's true, it's because there's something else going on. It's a clue,

Debby: 26:08

right? Yes. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Kim: 26:12

Yeah. Okay. So talk to us about some of those aha moments. Some of the big shifts that have happened as a result of thinking differently about yourself and like having More belief that you are worthy and valuable just because you exist here on this earth. What has, what's changed? What's that

Debby: 26:28

made available? So I have to say, you know, when we were talking about, you know, changes that have been in my life and me saying, you know, like it was baby steps and took a long time, but I. A couple of the biggest things that happened to me where I just realized, wow. So my aha moments, a couple of them happened when I went on vacation in May. So my sister and my niece and I took an impromptu vacation, um, and we went to South Carolina and one day, uh, we were sitting on the beach and my sister and her boyfriend and my niece were all in the water and. You know, they were playing and I looked down and I realized I'm sitting on the beach in my bathing suit with no coverup, nothing, right? Like, just full on bathing suit. And my, and everybody was walking by and I was saying, hello and hello and, and all of a sudden it hit me. And even like, even like my stomach was there, my stomach was present, my legs, my thighs, everything, my feet. And it hit me that eight years ago when we were in South Carolina and we were sitting on the beach. I was on the beach and I had a baseball hat on and a T-shirt and Capris, and I even covered my entire lower body with a towel. Like from head to toe, I was covered and there was no way anybody was gonna see any of my body on the beach. And here I am sitting there on the beach like not covered whatsoever. I mean, obviously yeah, I was wearing, and so it didn't

Kim: 28:13

even dawn on you when you got dressed that morning. It wasn't until much later you realize like, oh my goodness, I'm out here not covered up.

Debby: 28:23

Right. And like, I, I just, I got dressed to go to the beach, right? And I, and I just put my beach cover up on, and we went down to the beach. And then as soon as we got to the beach, I took my cover up off and I was sitting there in the chair and I, I was sitting there reading my book for at least an hour before all of a sudden it struck me. Here I am in all my glory, so to speak, on the beach, right? Mm-hmm. Not covering up anything like this is, this is me. And even when I did think about it, Then I,'cause then of course my thoughts are, oh geez, now are the thoughts gonna come in and tell me to cover up and no. Yeah. Like they, they did not. I'm here, I'm on the beach with everybody else and I'm allowed to be here. I deserve to be here and there's nothing wrong with me and my body and I can be here just like everybody else. Yeah.

Kim: 29:15

So that speaks to. A real shift in your, in your belief system around your body, right? Where eight years ago you believed that your body was something that you needed to hide, and you like made yourself invisible by covering literally every inch of your body other than your face. Yeah. And so now what do you believe about your body?

Debby: 29:36

You know, now I believe my body is, um, I don't know. I mean, it's just, it's just there, right? It's not, you know, I don't look, so here's the thing. I don't look in the mirror and say, Ooh, that's like the most fantastic body I've ever seen. But I don't look in the mirror with disgust anymore either. Right. I don't look in the mirror and say, that needs to change. That needs to change. That needs to change. Before I'll wear shorts, I can't possibly wear a tank top because people are gonna find that vial. You know? I don't, I just, I will put on, you know, my clothes and I will just be like, huh, that's a cute top. Huh? Those are cute shorts. So I, you know what I like, I, that's the biggest shift for me is my body is just my body, and it doesn't mean anything about. Me as a human being. Yeah.

Kim: 30:39

This is what we call body neutrality. People who are listening. Right? Like, so your body is not an object to be admired. And when you think that it is, that's what leads to all those negative thoughts about your body and the need to cover it up. Right. But the, the goal isn't to shift to like, I love my body and every part of me is beautiful and wonderful.'cause that still keeps you really fixated on the outward appearance, rather, it's just like, It just is. It's the container you live in. It's the thing that moves you around the world. And you know, like you say, my body's just my body.

Debby: 31:11

It's no big deal. Yeah. I think And that's, that's the ultimate goal. Yes. And that's, and that's, that's where I'm at right now. And the other thing that happened to me while I was on vacation is just. I don't even remember why, but we were shopping and I guess I was looking for something cooler, right? Because I had my, you know, Kirkland, Costco, capris, which are great, but hot. So hot. It was so hot in South Carolina. So we went to Walmart and I saw this like aqua blue, whatever dress, and I thought, oh, I'll try it on. I put this dress on and I went, oh my God, that's so cute. And so during my vacation I ended up buying three more dresses. And I always didn't wanna wear a dress because, you know, I have like these chubby knees at the back, and even from losing weight, they don't look right. And so my thought was, oh, no one wants to look at this like, Weird thing at the back of my leg, or for sure I can't wear a tank top dress because my arms are still big and flabby. And I, I put these dresses on and I went, oh my God. These are like the cutest dresses. So I wore the one dress the first time and we went to the beach and we were like frolicking in the water. And I just thought, it's so cool in this little dress. And I, I, my body felt it. So happy. Yeah. My body felt happy and it was like my body was saying, oh my goodness, thank you. Right, thank you. We're so hot all the time with what you put on us. And then I went back to Walmart and I bought two more dresses that were like tank top style. And I wore them and I'm like, this is even cooler. And. Honest to goodness. It was, it, I, I really did. I I just, it felt like my body was saying, oh, thank goodness, like, we've been so hot for so long. Like, this is, this is so freeing and we're just so happy. Right? Like, we're just so happy. And I don't, I don't look in the mirror right now and, and see my legs. I shouldn't say that. I will see my legs and of course the little thought will come in and be like, oh, that's a chubby little leg. And I think, and that's my chubby little leg. And this is a really cute dress. Hmm. Right. Interesting. It's not a, like I, you know, so when I got home I've even bought more dresses, right? And I wear them all the time now. Not just out, they're just like little summer dresses. And I remember even five years ago saying, you know, being at work in the, in the office saying, thinking, I wish I could be one of those people that just wore cute little summer dresses. And now I'm one of those people, yeah, still a larger body wearing cute little summer dresses and you know, so I. I went somewhere on Sunday and I put my little dress on a little green dress because I knew, um, where I was going. It was going to be hot in the room. And I, I did exactly that. I saw, you know, my chubby little knees and went, oh, those are my knees. But this is such a cute dress. And that was that.

Kim: 34:34

This is so powerful. This is gonna just, I hit home to so many people who are listening. So what I hear you saying is your body hasn't

Debby: 34:41

changed.

Kim: 34:42

No. And in the past, you know, you believed that your body had to, in order to feel worthy of feeling comfortable in clothing, like to wear clothing that was cool enough where your body could breathe and be cool, you did not feel worthy of wearing that in your larger body. You had to

Debby: 34:57

lose weight first. Yeah,

Kim: 35:00

you haven't lost weight. Body hasn't changed. The only thing that's changed is your belief that you are worthy of feeling comfortable in the body that you have, and that is what's given you permission to go buy the clothes you wanna

Debby: 35:11

wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like even today, right? I'm wearing a pair of shorts and not just shorts, like spandex, shorts. Right. You know, living dangerously. Yeah. I'm living dangerous like, like I spandex shorts because there's like a heat warning and it's gonna be a gazillion degrees today and I gotta work inside and my air conditioning doesn't work so great. So, but even before, even. Inside my house knowing that I wasn't going anywhere, I would never wear shorts. Like, and now yeah. I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt and, and so be it. Yeah.

Kim: 35:52

And the world is not ending. Nothing's gone wrong. Right? Like, what were you afraid of in the past? If you, if you made the decision to wear shorts in the past, what were you afraid would

Debby: 36:01

happen? So it's, it's interesting because, um, so. I can go back to being on the beach and when I realized, holy crap, here I am sitting here in my bathing suit on the beach and I start looking around, right? Like shifty eyes, like, oh my goodness. My biggest thing was people were going to look at me and think, that's unsightly. You need to cover that up. And because I also had that same belief. I, that body is unsightly, so cover that up. And when I realized, and I looked around the beach and you know, I, people were still smiling, smiling at me and waving and saying hello, and I was saying hello back and, you know, making eye contact and smiling and no one was turning around gagging, right? And so, like, that was the biggest thing for me is I just believed it. It was not, It was not pleasant enough to be seen by anybody or myself. Right.

Kim: 37:11

And let's, let's just entertain your brain here for a second and pretend like worst case scenario, somebody did judge your body and somebody did make a rude comment. I. What's different now

Debby: 37:23

if that were to happen? Oh, gosh. So what's different now? So in the past a thousand percent, if somebody would've said that, or I would've picked up on that vibe, I would've curled into a shell. I, my stomach would've been in knots. I would've immediately been in tears. I would've grabbed clothes and probably gone home immediately. Right. Even if it was just, even if someone just gave me a side eye. Yeah. Right. And now even if someone just gives me a side eye, you know, kind of the rebellious part of me, it'd be like, oh, side eye you back. Um, but you know, that's the first thing I would Yeah, you would, you would, right. A thousand percent. And then, you know, my next thing is, well, that's side eye is about you. It's not about me. And the fact that I want to be out here in a bathing suit and I'm comfortable and my body. Is comfortable. That really has nothing to do with me. That has everything to do with you, your own beliefs and your own judgements, and it's back to that kind of that thought of today. I am not gonna put any moral value on whatever it is you're trying to put on me because I don't, I don't even know who you are.

Kim: 38:38

Right. In other words, it's not your responsibility to make

Debby: 38:41

everybody else happy. No. Yeah. Nope. Big

38:46

shifts.

Kim: 38:47

Big shifts. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm, I'm just, I'm just so thrilled with everything that you've accomplished and what's become available for you. What, what do you see for yourself in the future? What goals do you have?

Debby: 39:03

Um, it's interesting, you know, so one of my biggest goals is still, Entertaining food being in my house, right? I've learned through this whole process is I can have any food that I want in the house, and I no longer binge eat. I no longer crazy eat. I no longer have the same thoughts about food that I did about my body, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, I, I learned from you in working with you. There are no good foods. There are no bad foods. There's just food. And, you know, that's kind of my, my goal still right now is to continue to have those views around food and, uh, like, like the Butter Tart. Well, I don't know, I think it was eight o'clock in the morning and I ate half a butter Tart. Who cares? Right. You know, and it wasn't like, Ooh, I'm eating bad food for breakfast. I like, I'm Butter Tart's there and I wanna eat a Butter Tart. So I'm eating half a butter tart. I don't, I don't care what time of day it is, I don't, you know, I will eat whatever whenever and I will stop. And that hasn't made me gain weight. That hasn't made me lose weight. But what it's done is it's helped heal my relationship with food similar to how my thoughts have. Healed my relationship with my body. Right? So, so those are my two main goals is just to continue, right? Continue accepting my body, and to continue accepting food into my life. Yeah. And keeping

Kim: 40:42

that neutral mindset, right, because from that neutral mindset, then you're able to engage with food and, and movement. We touched on a little bit and, and dressing your body and like all of the different things as simply a way to feel and function your best. Yeah. Like when, when the butter chart's not good or bad, it's just simply food, then you can decide like, does this food serve me in this moment? And you decided it did. Yeah, but only half of it. And then you put the rest away

Debby: 41:10

and it's, it's interesting too. So just like a perfect example, yesterday I have this, you know, tie-dye shirt that I made at a camp right? A few years ago. Um, and it's one of, it was before I even lost 110 pounds. So it's, it's very big and loose, but it's one of my favorite shirts. And then I have these like orange track pants. Then I put on, you know, my pink bright, the sun is shining socks, and I have these very colorful running shoes and I put this outfit on and I'm like, look at me rocking the color today. And I went out for breakfast, like to the local restaurant, and my sister and my niece were here and they're like, wow, that is like a bright day and spur. The moment I decided I was going for breakfast and I thought I don't change, you know? Sure enough, this little old lady was like, oh my gosh, you look so bright and colorful today. And I'm like, I know, right? And you know, even as crazy as it sounds, even even 6, 8, 10 months ago, I would not have ever left the house in that outfit number one, just because it's like, not sloppy clothes, but like, it's very comfortable, but it's bright and it's kind of crazy. And you know, I walked outta the house feeling like a million bucks. You know, and you're willing to be seen,

Kim: 42:30

you're willing to show up in, like, I, we won't be showing the video for this podcast, but I wish people could see like, you just have such a big personality. There's like, I'm sure it's coming through in the audio too, right? So that outfit, as I hear you describe it, I'm like, it just embodies Debbie. Yeah. And it's, I love this story'cause it just shows that you're willing to step in and like own who you are. Yes. Walk out there in that colorful outfit and be seen as the radiant human

Debby: 43:02

you are. Yes. Thank you. And that's, that's exactly how I felt. I was just like, uh, absolutely I'm going out in this outfit today. And that's, you know, that's, I, you know, those are my goals, right. Is just to continue to go out into the world and, you know, I. And share my story, right? Like this is, I'm at a point now where I'm, I'm happy to share my story and I really do hope it helps some people because it's been a process. Um, and I am so thankful and grateful that I'm here and for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm in like the best place, you know, I'm no longer an executive that job is gone. You know, we didn't touch on, but I, I up and changed my life completely. I left the executive life and I decided I didn't wanna go back. I sold my house in the city and I moved an hour and a half away from everyone and everything that I knew to like this, Spectacular place on the river that is, just peaceful and it has the most incredible vibe and it makes me happy every day sitting out here and looking out the window and being in nature and being by the river and being Debbie by the river. And, I wouldn't have been able to, do that, Three years ago, I never would've even entertained it, let alone actually done it, and I'm, I'm the happiest now that I've ever, ever been in my life.

Kim: 44:39

You've been able to create the life of your dreams. Yes. Because you know that you're worthy of living the life

Debby: 44:47

of your dreams. Yes. Yeah, that's, I, I would say that's absolutely true. Yes. You know, I found a job that a thousand percent works for me, and I work from home, so my family loves this place, so they're up here. My friends love this place, so they come here, you know? Yes. You know, I am, I'm living the life of, of my dreams, and it's, it's just unapologetically. Yes. Unapologetically. Yeah. And I, you know, I do tell that to people when, you know, when they ask about where I live and I, and I say, you know, like, I, it's a dream come true. Like it really is a dream come true being here. And I just, I don't take it for granted. I'm grateful for this little piece of property every single day. I'm so excited

Kim: 45:40

for you. Like it's just, it's just such a joy to see you living your best life. So, one final question to wrap up. Yeah. What would you, what would you say to somebody who's feeling like you were a couple of years ago and doubting themselves and feeling like nothing in their life is working and you know, if they just lost weight, maybe everything would be better. What's something you wish someone would've said to you two years ago when you were in that place?

Debby: 46:08

Oh, you know, it's hard to wrap up into one, you know, a couple of sentences. But the one thing for sure is if you do the work, you will find the results that you need and want. But it is, it is work, right? But it's not a hard work. It's gonna seem like hard work in the beginning because, because it's something that I wasn't used to doing, and I had to look at things a different way. But every day, as long as I committed to myself, it was easier and easier and easier. So it'll take a bit of time and everybody's journey is different, but you know. My body honestly is just a thing that I'm living in. It does not define me. It has nothing to do with my worth. I don't need to lose weight to, to be worthy and to have a wonderful life. And yeah, there's work behind it, but it is so worth it. So worth it. Yeah, like I

Kim: 47:15

heard you say, you just have to commit to showing up for yourself and having an open mind and be willing to try something completely

Debby: 47:23

different. Yes, that's, uh, you know what? I like the way you said yes. Just commit to myself, right? Like I had to commit to the process. And you know what? Trust the process and, and not expect immediate results. But yes, just believe that I can get there. And, and I did. Right? I did get there and it's, yeah, it's absolutely worth it. It just, you know, everybody's journey is different and the timeframes are gonna be different for everybody, but. Oh my goodness. If you commit to yourself. So I committed to myself. It didn't take long for me to start seeing the little progress. Right. It doesn't take long. You just, I just couldn't focus on the end result. I had to be Right. I had to be committed and be in the moment, and every few days it felt like, oh, look at that. That really happening and the changes just came, they just kept happening. It's like a snowball,

Kim: 48:22

right? Yeah. Tiny little change. And then another little change. And another little change. And before you know it, you're sitting on the beach in a bathing, bathing suit.

Debby: 48:30

Yes. And wearing dresses. Yeah. It's so true.

Kim: 48:35

Oh, Debbie, you're amazing. And I just, it's, it's such a joy to be in your presence and to, to walk this journey alongside you.

Debby: 48:44

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I, um, you know, it's interesting too because I, I know we have to wrap up, but I just, the one other thing that I was thinking for me in my journey, you know, I had been seeing, um, a therapist for two years who specialized in, um, eating disorders and emotional eating and binge eating, and it, I, I'm not knocking therapy because, you know, I needed to do all kinds of things with her. But I finished with her and started working with you and, one-on-one in coaching. And that is, that's the part of my journey that I needed to do to work on my body, right? Like I made more progress working with you and your program than I had, um, all my life. So Well, that's, that's a,

Kim: 49:41

that's a really powerful testimony.

Debby: 49:43

Yes. Right. And that's why I just wanted to say like, it was this program and this coaching that moved me to where I needed to go. It's been life changing. A a thousand percent life changing. And the cool thing about

Kim: 49:57

it is like, once you learn it, you can't unlearn it. Like you will never, ever, ever go back to where you were. And that's like the amazing things, like these dieting is such a quick fix. If, if it even works in the first place mm-hmm. This is gonna be with you for life.

Debby: 50:13

You are forever changing. Yeah. So cool. So thank you. Well,

Kim: 50:17

thank you. And thank you for being willing to share your story because I know that it's gonna help so many people,

Debby: 50:23

so I hope so. Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm like so excited to, to share my story and I really do, I really do hope that it, that it helps people too. I know that it will.