The Power in Motion Podcast

115 - From Weight Watchers Coach to Confident Anti-Diet Badass with Randi Cox

• Kim Hagle • Episode 115

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In this inspiring episode, we sit down with former Weight Watchers coach, turned anti-diet, Randi Cox.

Randi shares her powerful story about what compelled her to leave her decade long job at Weight Watchers.   Tune in as we spill the tea, including all that Randi lost and all that she’s gained since she turned her back on dieting.

As a mom to a young daughter, Randi is passionate about  helping other moms to divorce diet culture and embrace their bodies. Her journey is not just about embracing her body or quitting dieting; it's about breaking free from the chains of diet culture to live a truly fulfilling life.

About Our Guest:

 Randi Cox is a former weight loss coach turned non-diet, living her fullest life without restriction. She’s  on a mission to help other moms get the heck out of diet culture, get comfortable in their skin, and create body confidence so they can be the best damn role model for their kids, and live their own badass confident life. 

Randi’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/randicoxcoaching

Randi’s Freebies: https://randicox.com/freebies

Thick Thighs and Confident Vibes Podcast


About the Host

Kim Hagle (she/her)  is Certified Personal Trainer, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Body Image Coach and founder of Radiant Vitality Wellness. 

Through mindset and movement coaching she helps women heal their relationship with food and exercise while disconnecting their worth from their weight, so they can feel healthy, happy and confident in the body they have.  

New Here? Join our exclusive email community: Embrace Your Radiance is my weekly email series that helps women overcome feeling limited by their body. Each week you'll receive exclusive coaching tips to help you feel healthy, happy and confident without no matter what the scale says. As a subscriber, you'll also be the first to hear about all of my free and paid offers. Emails come out every Sunday at 7 pm.  

Want to feel good in your body without focusing on weight?  Register for our 5 day mini training course. For just $27, you'll receive one short video and worksheet each day for 5 days that will help get started with the non-diet approach and  feeling better in and about your body.

Ready to take the next step?  Book a free consultation call to discuss how coaching can help you reach your goals.

Let’s stay in touch! Kim is on Instagram and Facebook @radiantvitalitywellness.  

Disclaimer.  The information contained in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.  Always consult a health care professional about your unique needs.


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Kim:

Hey friend, welcome back to the Power in Motion podcast. Now, before we get into this week's episode which is a juicy one, if I do say so myself I want to extend a special invitation to you. If you love what you're hearing here on the show, then you have got to get on my email list, because that's where we take what you learn here to the next level this year. Radiance is my weekly email series that helps women overcome feeling limited by their body. Each week, you receive exclusive coaching tips to help you feel healthy, happy and confident, no matter what the scale says, and as a subscriber, you're also the first to hear about all of my free and paid offers and spoiler alert there is a big one coming out at the end of this month, a very special low ticket, low commitment offer to help you navigate the holidays, and the only way to hear about it is if you're on my email list.

Kim:

Emails come out at a minimum every Sunday at 7pm and you can subscribe by clicking the link in my show notes or visit radiantvitalityca. Slash email. Okay, so let's talk about this week's episode. We are joined for a juicy interview with my friend and coach colleague, randy Cox, who's a former Weight Watchers coach, turned non diet, living her fullest life without restriction. She's on a mission to help other moms get the heck out of diet culture, get comfortable in their skin and create body confidence so they can be the best damn role model for her kids and live their own badass, confident life. Did I mention this is going to be a spicy interview? If you have children, you might want to pop the earbuds in Now.

Kim:

Having worked for Weight Watchers for 10 years, randy has a lot to say about her experience with dieting and why she chose to embrace the non diet life. This is a really inspiring and vulnerable conversation where we dig into all that Randy lost during her dieting days and all that she's gained. On the other side, it's about a whole lot more than weight, my friends. So I hope that you enjoy this conversation as much as I did, and after you listen, you're going to want to go and follow Randy and listen to her podcast as well, which is all linked up in the show notes for you. So let's dive in. Hey, randy, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here tonight.

Randi:

Thanks for having me Happy to be here.

Kim:

I can't wait to chat with you and spill some tea. All about Weight Watchers and hear how you made that journey from a Weight Watchers coach to a non diet coach. So why don't you just take us off by starting a little bit about you and how you came to be doing this work that you're doing now?

Randi:

Yeah, so, like you mentioned, I am from the Weight Watchers world. I joined Weight Watchers, just like everybody else does, with hopes of being the healthiest and aspersion of myself, and I joined because I wanted to lose weight and I think in the back of my head it was health, but really I was like saw some pictures of myself and I was like I don't like how these look. I want to be different looking. So I went to Weight Watchers, joined and I was there for about a year and lost weight on the program and then they asked me if I wanted to work with them and I was like, yes, I can be part of this great thing. I can help other women. I'm here for it. So I ended up being a weight loss coach with them and coached other women to lose weight and slowly over time like I worked with them for about 10 years, so we're saying very slowly over time I started to just notice some things that were jiving with who I was and like what I wanted to live life like.

Randi:

And I remember being at one meeting room and one of the members was like I haven't eaten at a restaurant for over a year and this was her win and her celebration and everyone started clapping and cheering and I was like, oh my God, I have also not eaten at a restaurant because I was so scared to eat without knowing the plate value of everything and how I counted my daily. A lot, man, how much working out I'd have to do. Like restaurants were so much work and so stressful. And so I was like I thought I was the only one, but I'm putting this on my members as well, so that like didn't say right. And then I was like why are we cheering for someone not going out to a restaurant to think of all the birthdays and the anniversaries and just date nights or just green lights, like so much different things were missing in her life because of that. And that was kind of the first thing. And slowly I was like I just want women to love their bodies, like I just want us to feel comfortable, I just want us to be confident. And do we need the skill for that? And so I slowly started to adapt my own coaching in my way watchers, meeting room Like don't tell them I did this, that would inject a bumby, but ultimately still everybody had to weigh themselves. So people would come into the meeting room and be like, oh my gosh, I did this fantastic. Fine, they tried this new food. I went such a great week I played with my kids and they would step on the scale and the number would not be what they thought in their mind and it would just be defeating. And so I'm sure so many people are like, yeah, me too, right, like yeah, been there, yeah, and I just felt so icky being a part of this and I stopped telling people what I did for work. I didn't want people to know what I did Because it just it didn't jive with me anymore.

Randi:

And then the moment and all kind of came crashing down and together was when I found out I was pregnant. And so he found out I was pregnant and the first thing that came to my mind was, oh my gosh, I need to start eating, because I wasn't eating enough food for myself, let alone this little human. I was growing, so started eating food and ate food. My doctor wasn't happy with it because I gained weight and I was like, get big surprise, like I'm eating food.

Randi:

And then, slowly, it was like during my pregnancy, I kept telling myself I don't ever want my kid to feel like she needs to go to a Weight Watchers meeting room and I don't want my kid to be that Like, feel that shame in her body, and I don't want my kid to ever think her body is wrong. I was just like a big slap across the face, like, holy shit, I'm so protective of her. Why don't I have this attitude for myself? Why don't I have this compassion and self-care for my own body? And so I said, okay, I'm not going back to Weight Watchers, like I'm done, and but it's so scary, unknown. Like if you're done dieting, what the heck do we do?

Randi:

I joke that I was the poster child for Weight Watchers Like legitimately, this face was on their posters years ago, so it was scary. I had no idea how to be healthy, like if I'm not constantly pursuing weight loss, what does that look like? And I started following a few Instagram accounts, like my Nikims, and so I just started to like understand that there's another way to live. And I then devoured every book I could, took some courses, got some coaching and really learned that my body is just a body. It doesn't matter if it's big or small or good or bad, like it's just here for me to have fun. And so my whole outlook on life did a 180 switch and I was like how can I have the most joy, how can I bring the most pleasure into my life? What can I do? That's gonna be fun I mean, I talk like it's all sunshine and rainbows, but they're still uncomfortable parts of it but really like I've learned to trust myself and I've had so much more confidence in all those moments.

Kim:

Yeah, that's a beautiful story and I love how it took being pregnant and having that wake up call. For you to see, like why is it okay for me to be depriving of myself? Like I heard you talking about your members and how you were sad for them, like not living their best life, not going to restaurants, not doing the things that they would enjoy, and like you were okay with doing that for yourself, but you were sad for them. So, having this other person for you to realize like hey, I deserve all that same joy and self care too.

Randi:

Yeah, yeah, exactly, and, like I said, it was just like a slap in the face. Oh my gosh, like yeah.

Kim:

So there's a lot of things I wanna talk about, but let's start with your child. What's like now raising a child in a world that's just run by diet culture?

Randi:

Yeah, wild, crazy. She's my biggest teacher, honestly, through a lot of this. Because we're not born hating our bodies. We're not born into, I mean, yeah, we're born into a diet culture world, but we're not born with those thoughts in our head. And so it's so interesting to watch her vision on things and her view on things and like her body is literally there to be like cool, I can climb up this player and I can go down this line, I can run fast down this road, and so it's really quite fascinating to watch that.

Randi:

And even like her food choices were very open and there's no good food or bad food, and just watching her, like the other day she had a salad and gummy worms was her breakfast, like that's what she was craving, that's what she wanted. So it's just like so interesting to see that part of her. But on the flip side of parenting that like I like to be naive and think I can shelter her and keep her diet free forever, but I know that it's not realistic. Actually she's in preschool and her first week of preschool, at three years old, she came home and we were having a tea party and she said I can't drink this, it'll make me fat. And I was like I'm throwing, I'm throwing yourself out, I'm not so hopeful.

Randi:

Oh Gary, oh my gosh, yeah. And so I just talked to her about it and what she thought that meant, and she had no clue. She was literally just repeating what somebody had told her at school. But that's how quickly it happens that they start copying what they're hearing and what they say and what they see at home, and so being cautious about what I say and what I do in front of her is one thing, but also just like, really like I always tell moms, the best way to do it is to sort your own shit out. Like we don't need to stand in the closet and hit our bodies to then be confident when we're in front of our kids, like just really working on your own body image.

Randi:

So that's just life and that's just how you portray life and you show your kids. You can do it the thing, no matter what size you are. And yeah, so I think a being the role model and sorting my own stuff out. So knowing I'm going to create this safe space and this place you can come home to in a world filled of diet culture, but also just like learning a lot from her. It's. It's a neat little balance.

Kim:

Yeah, kids are great teachers and I love how you pointed out like you can only teach your kids what you know yourself right. So, like doing the work of unpacking your own stories about food and body and what women are supposed to look like, you have to do that first before you can impart good values and like body neutrality onto your child. I know you've shared a few of the beauty standards, body ideals that were imparted upon you, one being like when a woman walks up to a wall, her boobs hit it first. Yeah, what are some of the other body stories you grew up believing?

Randi:

It's interesting, like when I first decided about why I joined Weight Watchers. That and I said it was a photo, it was my grandma was very, very diet culture and of course she was that's what she learned growing up. And there was four granddaughters on that side of the family and I was the biggest one out of them and my body was constantly compared to them, like when my grandma would give me hugs, she like pinched my back and say, oh, like you, maybe she cut down on some sugar, or like there was just comments about my food that was being made, but mainly that I was bigger than my cousins was the message I heard constantly growing up, and it was at my cousins wedding.

Randi:

The four of us took a picture together and when I saw the picture, I got this film developed let's just hold technology here. I was like, oh, my gosh, my, my grandma is right. Like look how bigger, much bigger I am. And it was that photo that sent me to Weight Watchers. So constantly hearing that message from my grandma that I was too big, that my body wasn't right, I should have been a certain pant size, like just constantly.

Kim:

And what did you internalize like what did that? What did you make that mean about you? That you were larger than your cousins?

Randi:

Yeah, I. It was like I wasn't accepted, like I wasn't, I couldn't be part of this family until I lost weight. And you better believe, when I lost weight I called up all my cousins and was like we're doing a photo shoot because?

Randi:

I didn't so match you because I need to feel that acceptance, I need to feel like I'm part of this family. Yeah, and so that's really what it meant about me and looking back I can say that in the moment probably didn't understand that, but it was seeking that approval from that loved one sitting in being part of that family. Yeah, and just feeling like I'm say confident but we all know it's like false confidence, but I like I fit in easier because I'm conformed to what other people expected of me.

Kim:

Yeah, I'm so glad you shared that story and I know it's vulnerable, but I think so many women who are listening would be able to relate to that. I know that looking at pictures of ourselves can be a big trigger, especially if we are the largest one or one of the largest people in the photos and what we make that mean about us and we really believe the story that our body size means we're less valuable, less worthy, less lovable, and then we put it on ourselves To fix the body, to gain that approval and to fit in. So tell us a little bit about how you went from being that person to being the confident, badass woman that you are today. Yeah, and stand.

Randi:

Yeah, it's. It's a lot of mindset work and switching how you look at yourself. You mentioned Bonnie Nutrile earlier and that was what saved me, honestly, because there's so much messaging out there. That's like just stand naked in front of the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful and like. I saw something on the Internet the other day that was like whisper way, why your body to look like into water and then drink it? And I was like what is this? Just manifest yourself in? Like there's so much out there that we believe because these gurus are selling that if we just stand naked in front of the mirror enough times and tell ourselves we love ourselves, that's going to automatically click and that doesn't. That's how it works.

Randi:

And so when I heard about neutrality, it was like holy shit, I don't have to love my body, I still love my body. So it really became like working on my mind and just really truly believing what my body is here to experience. The other flip side of it was I kept asking myself who profits off of me thinking yes. That question was a very powerful question on my journey. So it was who profits off of this? Who's creating this thought? Who is making money off of me hating myself, and I don't have to love my body to enjoy things. I don't have to love my body all the time. I can just do and be and exist.

Kim:

Yeah, such a powerful question, right asking who profits off of this. And that brings me back to I wanted to ask more questions about Weight Watchers. I know you posted an Instagram post recently about how you worked for Weight Watchers for 10 years and you can count on one hand the number of women who reached their goal weight and like zero, who actually maintained it.

Randi:

Yeah, yeah.

Kim:

So it's how on earth do they keep people coming like? Weight watchers is the longest running diet, lifestyle, whatever people are calling it now company, and people are still flocking to it. It doesn't work. Like, how are they doing it? That's the pie that they're selling.

Randi:

I drank to Kool-Aid. I need to tell you. But there's actually a CFO retired CFO from Weight Watchers that's on record saying that it has an 84% fail, right, and that's what keeps their business going. And so you can find that on the internet. Google that saying and that stat and you'll find out. But yeah, a CFO from Weight Watchers actually said they have an 84% fail rate. I would personally say it's higher, but it's a you problem, it's not a Weight Watchers problem.

Randi:

Like you just didn't try hard enough, you didn't have enough willpower, you didn't dedicate enough for your day, and we talk about unicorn people who can lose weight and keep it off, and I was that person. But the lifestyle to do that was wild, and it was my full-time job to stay thin. What did your life?

Kim:

look like when you were quote unquote maintaining your weight.

Randi:

Yeah peak peak session on food. Yeah, so I worked out obsessively.

Randi:

I loved spinning yoga but it became such a compulsion in my life I did 530 spin class fall of a power flow class and on my breaks at lunch I usually go do another spin class. And I ran 5K probably three or four times a week. Wow, so I've had knee surgery. I have a busted ankle. I ran this body into the ground, literally. And Sundays we're spent meal prepping because that's what wellness culture says. And Sundays, meal prep day, and I spend hours cutting things into containers and making sure I had a plan and if we were going out for lunch at work, I needed to know ahead of time what was happening. And it is all consuming. And they just, yeah, lived in my head, rent-free all the time. But that was my existence, was being thin, my nickname was Slimly, that was my whole existence was just to be a thin person. Wow, and that's so sad.

Kim:

They just go back and past Randy a hug. No, kidding, for sure. So you lost weight, but you lost a whole lot more. Like what else did you lose?

Randi:

Oh, I, yeah, like I definitely would not be able to have a kid now and keep that lifestyle up. I actually have a story I always tell about. We were going to a friend's house for a board game night and I have such a strong memory of like we stepped into the elevator and as we were getting into the elevator he texted me and said plans have changed, we're just going to order pizza instead of go to a restaurant. And I collapsed to the elevator floor and cried like involved my eyes out because I was like we have to go home, I don't have the points for the pizza, and that was one of my more extreme like fall on the floor and cry.

Randi:

But stuff like this happened all the time. Like, oh, I can't go to that barbecue unless I'm bringing my own food. And like my friends made fun of me because I always brought roasted chickpeas to events instead of chips, and I would just sit there with my little chickpeas, which like don't get me wrong, I love roasted chickpeas, but that was my only thing I allowed myself to eat. And yeah, it, just it stole so much socializing and just so much time, like the time standing to get ready and like your clothing entity perfect, like it just was a whole image to keep up with.

Kim:

Yeah, it really like when you say it was a full time job, it was more than that, like it was your whole life, your whole existence. Yeah, yeah.

Randi:

And when you talk to my partner now, he's like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy. I think about now like we were actually present in our life. So we're going to do stuff together.

Kim:

So was the grieving process when you quit, or was it like just instantly liberating?

Randi:

I'm laughing when you say grieving process, because I legitimately had a funeral for some of my ship. So, yes, grief is part of the process and I think, like grieving the body I had, I think we forget that part and we were a different person. So, yeah, there was a whole grief process. I legitimately, like, made a live through humor as my coping mechanism, so I had a funeral for some of my clothes, was a friend, but there is there's a grieving process for the person you used to be. There's a grieving process for the body you used to have, so the clothes you used to wear, like you change as a whole person and, yeah, like I change, I feel like I'm a phoenix that has risen from the ashes of diet culture. But that was still a whole, like a huge part of my life.

Kim:

Yeah, so tell us what you've gained now that you've quit. Let's inspire our listeners, because I'm sure there are lots who are listening who are like, oh my God, I would love to be able to quit, but they don't see what's possible on the other side. It just seems scary, so share what your life looks like now.

Randi:

Yeah, confidence, I can't stress enough Confidence and self-dress is such a huge piece and I know I can guarantee somebody out there listening is like confidence that I don't want to be a Victoria's Secret model or I don't want to run naked through the forest Like we're sold. This giant confidence is impossible to reach status, but like it's such little things in life. Like one of my clients, her big thing was she wanted to go to a book club. She had a different accent than everybody. There was food and she was going to be in the biggest body. So her coaching was to be able to go to a book club and enjoy it and be present. But it's not my life, like you asked. That's okay.

Randi:

An example I lived in pants. Whether it was 30 degrees out, like, I was always in pants, and so to be able to wear shorts, like so it's something so simple. But wearing shorts without the noise of who's looking at me, who's thinking this, who's judging me for this, like just being like my body deserves comfort. So I'm going to wear shorts and wearing color. That was not part of who I was and I am. I'm a colorful person. I love everything neon and bright, but my clothes are all black, so it's stuff like that or like. I wanted to try stand up paddle boarding so I tried that. I am joining a chick bucks in class in September. Um, eating. I didn't realize how much joy I get out of eating and food and socializing over dinners and it's just like it's so great to get that back to dad.

Kim:

Yeah, yeah.

Randi:

And to be able to order whatever you want off the menu and like get dressed and leave your house in 20 minutes, instead of primping and pussing all day long, right, and like the getting ready to leave your house in 20 minutes, but also not coming home to the hurricane of clothing that has been thrown around like bedroom. I'm trying to get ready, that's the best. Yeah, like, uh. I walk into my closet and I'm like yeah, what, what do I get to wear? What do I want to wear? Like my closet is fun, it feels good. It's not this place of oppression anymore.

Kim:

Yeah, because you're neutral about your body and you filled your closet with things that you love and you feel good in or comfortable on your body. So you know whenever you pull something it's going to feel good on you and you're not going to have to like pull this off and, oh my God, that doesn't if you're not holding on to clothes that are too small, hoping one day you'll be able to wear them.

Randi:

Yeah, and if you're listening right now, underwear buy, oh, buy underwear that fits.

Kim:

Oh my God, there's nothing worse than tight underwear.

Randi:

You heard it from both of us. It's true.

Kim:

It's true. Yeah, this is really inspiring and I hope that the people who are listening go or feel that nudge to do this for themselves. It is a process. I know you went through a process and you now take clients through a process, so tell us a little bit about what that looks like. What is the journey from being obsessed over your weight and fearing weight gain to being a confident badass? How do you take people on that journey?

Randi:

Yeah, I love the one-on-one coaching aspect of things because you can get so specific on what your personal goals are. It's not a I also do group coaching as well, but we can get to know what your goals are. So when I first meet with someone, that's what it's about. It's like what would you do if your body didn't matter? What would it be? What does your life look like? And we get so clear on that vision and that's what we're going to work towards and feeling that way and believing that you can create that life.

Randi:

And so my process is to get really curious. Curious about where you learned your thoughts, curious about why you feel certain things, and learn to take the judgment and the shoulds out. Yeah, those voices are still going to be there. And like, when we have those like I looked in my body the other day and was like, well, I don't really like how I look today, but it was like oh hello, mean girl voice, what are you doing here today? Why are you here, Instead of just being like, oh God, stop, I don't want to think this way.

Randi:

So that curiosity point and then really learning to connect your mind and your body, and we forget how to do that Diet culture teaches us we shouldn't be doing that. Being a woman in a patriarchal society teaches us we shouldn't do that. So we're going to learn how to connect that so you can get the answers for yourself instead of looking on Pinterest or searching for the next guru. You're the person that knows the answers. So after we get curious, then we're going to connect and then we get to create and that's my favorite part. So creating new beliefs, creating new thoughts and creating safe action that is going to get you towards that goal.

Kim:

I love that and a whole lot of self-compassion along the way, because it's not linear and that mean girl voice is going to show up. Oh yeah, I think that's the biggest takeaway. I think the biggest trap I see people falling into is they just believe that mean girl voice. They think, because they have these thoughts, that they're true and they have to act on them and therefore got to change the body. Like you say, it's becoming curious and compassionate and knowing you don't have to believe that thought just because it's in your head.

Randi:

And when I hear those thoughts now it's like, oh hi, grandma, I know where I learned to think this way. So, yeah, and I'm a professional, I coach women on doing this and I'm not perfect. Like I have bad body image days. But the difference now is those body image days don't spiral out of control. I don't turn to the pantry to binge eat for three or four days. I don't like. I cope with supportive ways and sometimes that's food, but it's not. It's not the shame spiral that exists in my life and feels heavy for weeks on end. It's like, oh, I had a bad body image day, tomorrow's a new day. I don't need to listen to those voices. Yeah, I'm allowed to have feelings and be in that space, but tomorrow's a new day. Like we're going to have a better day.

Kim:

Yeah, If you could sum up your learning into one inspiring statement. What would you want our listeners to walk away from this with? What's one little nugget that you want to impart on our listeners today?

Randi:

My favorite quote is to stop waiting and like we can be tiny and stop waiting. Like wait, stop waiting and start living. Like let's step off that scale and let's start living your magical life. I just give you like four sentences.

Kim:

That's okay, it's a short paragraph, we'll go yeah, and I think you have a free resource for our listeners to a quiz. Are you putting your life on hold for the scale, am I right?

Randi:

Yeah, I know my Instagram. Yeah, no, randy Cogs coaching. I've got two freebies. One is a quiz that you can take. It's fun, there's gifs, there's jokes, but it really just like lets you see if you're actually putting your life on hold for the scale. And my other freebie that I just released is a closet clean out guide. So you have to clean out your closet and not just like Marie Tendo, let's bring a joy, but like actually hold space for the feelings that come up and there's questions and space and grieving process on it all, and then a shopping guide to help fill your closet with confidence.

Kim:

Oh, that's so cool. That would be so helpful. So can you recap for us again where our listeners can find you, both your social media, and I know you have a podcast as well, so give them all the links.

Randi:

Yeah, so I am mainly hanging out on Instagram at Randy Cogs coaching and just come hang out and say hi, it's a fun little party over there. And yeah, I have a podcast, it's called Thick Thighs and Confident Vibes and you can catch Kim on my podcast too.

Kim:

Yeah, oh well, thank you so much for being here today, randy, and sharing your story and your message of body acceptance and helping our listeners see what's possible on the other side of quitting dieting. It's been a great conversation. I'm so thankful you took the time. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It was so fun.

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